Why?
by TheWriterOfManyStories14
Summary: Emmeline Vance wonders 'why'. Why this? Why that? Why do I feel this? Why do I feel that? *COMPLETE* *ONE SHOT*


**A/N: This idea popped into my mind because of a roleplay I'm in.  
'Kassidy Knox' is an original character made by my best friend, I do not own her and only have permission to feature her in this story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I earn a profit from this.  
I am a poor high school student, I promise. **

* * *

_'It was just a onetime thing.  
It was just sex.'_

That's what she kept telling herself.  
But, if it was just a onetime thing, and just sex, why did she feel this way?  
Why did she get butterflies around him?  
Why did her heart flutter?  
She blamed it on the sex

Emmeline Rose Vance was your average girl, well, average witch.  
Dark hair, light eyes, short, and pretty.  
Muggle music made her world go around; Pink Floyd being her favourite, yes she hated it because it was just another thing she had in common with him, yet she said it meant nothing.  
But, then why was it when that music played and she begun to dance, the only thing on her mind was the dark haired wizard?

She decided it was just the whiskey, just the alcohol in her system talking.  
But, she had only had one shot, and she was far from a lightweight, so it couldn't be the alcohol.  
It was her mind turning wheels, thinking into the future, what would happen if they dated?  
What about getting married?  
She shook her head at the thought.  
She knew he'd never get married; it would never fit into the life he built.  
It fit into hers, but not his.  
Plus, Knox or McKinnon would try to tie him into a marriage first.  
The oh so pretty Kassidy, the Slytherin, the slimy snake.  
Oh how much Emmeline despised her, she got to have Sirius a lot more than she did and it made her sick.  
Or, McKinnon, she was just as bad.  
Being sickly in love with a man who didn't love you back must be hard, but Emmeline wasn't in love with him herself. Was she? No. That was impossible, him taking her virginity and sleeping with a few times over the course of the school year meant nothing.  
But, if it meant nothing, then why did she feel a smile creep up on her face whenever he spoke?  
She sighed at the thought.  
Maybe she was in love with him after all.  
Or, maybe, just maybe, she was in love with the thought of him.  
It was maybe thought of having someone to love her, to hold her, to care for her, to make her happy and to actually give a lovely fuck about her.

Yeah, Sirius Orion Black to actually _love _someone was as stupid as the Muggles walking on the moon.  
She knew it would never happen, but it never hurt to wish and hope, right?  
In Emmeline's case, it was.  
It was the _worst _thing she _could _do.

You couldn't just wish and hope for a man known as the Gryffindor Whore to actually love you.  
To actually want to be with you, as your boyfriend, no, it was wrong.  
She knew Kassidy and Marlene were prettier, she knew they could have him if they tried hard enough.

Emmeline was just the girl who occasionally snogged her friend Mary and shagged Sirius when she needed a release or needed to feel close to someone.  
She knew she shouldn't stay overnight when they did have sex, she knew nothing good would come of it, but, what are you to do when you get up to leave and he asks you where you're going?  
So she stayed, every time afterwards, she stayed, curled up against his side and slept peacefully for the first since the last and as the morning light crept through the windows, she knew she'd have to leave, but she would prolong it.

She would close the curtains and pray the light stayed out, she would make her clothes become hidden so she had to search for them in hopes another round of sex would happen which would mean a nap and more time with him.

But she knew, she knew she would eventually have to leave, and she'd feel another piece of her heart leave her as she left the boys dorms and walked down the stairs and over to the girls and every time, she would turn around and wait a minute.  
Just hoping and praying that Sirius Orion Black was standing at the bottom, deciding he was wrong and that he loved her and wanted her in bed with him just as much as she wanted him to be in bed with him.  
Though she knew, she knew he wouldn't be.  
It didn't stop her from turning around every time and waiting, before she turned around against her will and made her way up the dorm stairs to her dorm room, lay in bed and cry until she had no more tears left.

Because, in those moments.  
She would finally realize she was in love with Sirius Orion Black and so were two other girls, who were so much prettier and so much better than she was and she was just the stupid girl who gave him her virginity in hopes to find someone who actually loved her.

And she knew it didn't work.  
She knew he viewed it as just sex.  
But she didn't care.  
Not when her heart belonged to Sirius Orion Black.


End file.
